The 2 Big Phone Companies Suck

Alright, no doubt our bills will soar if someone from Eircom ever reads this blog (although that's probably unlikely) but I have to have a bitch about them and I've already exhausted the ears of my colleagues with my telephone company tirades.
When we moved we had to tell eircom to cancel our current line and since there was already a line in the new house we had the landlords permission, as did Eircom, to change the bill into our name.
Simple.
No.
First of all they claimed there was an outstanding bill on the old line which had been paid but which they dodn't believe had been paid. Thus ensured embarrassing phone calls with people about paying bills they'd already paid and then having them pay again. Needless to say a double amount was deducted from their card by Eircom, who then had to be contacted to pay it back again.
We decided our broadband server should not be Eircom, having experienced their astronomical phone bills and not enjoyed their service very much. This means we need our new account number, which we are told isn’t the same as the previous phone line renter and isn't the same as our previous line. For some reason this account number is so special and so secretive that it can only be sent out by post taking 4 days.
They will not give it out over the phone. Nor will they fax it, nor will they email it. The only way we can get our hands on our account number is by post. This was requested 4 days ago. It still hasn't arrived so a new request has been put in today.
I understand that at this point if there is anyone left reading this who is not bored to tears then you have probably experienced similar problems with the company.,
However this is nothing to the treatment we have received at the hands of Esat BT (Now BT)
And that is a story for another day - - and of course the newspapers.

Eurovision Shuns Ireland.

The endless hand-ringing over Irelands faliure to make it into the main Eurovision competition was the first thing I've ever heard on Morning Ireland that made me laugh. (Other than in derision)
Comments came in by the bucket load suggesting the reason for kicking our beloved gingers to the curb was that the eurovision had now become too politicial.
Yes that's right, all 7 of Ireland's previous wins were down to great musical skill - nothing mentioned about Ireland's cutsey little nuetral country status with a bad economy - now things were grossly unfair because all those eastern europeans had a chance to vote for grannies banging drums and have crappier ecnonomies than the Irish. Boo hoo.
Sorry but ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Please read the latest edition of popbitch (sign up here), because it's excellent and because they have this to say about the farcical Irish entrance:
"Ireland - Donna and Joe McCaul. Hilariously amateur teenage ginger siblings. Joe wins the fans' prize as most unlikely party animal. The Irish delegation have now imposed a curfew on him. Watch their dancers fall over while River Dancing"

Shopping Centre Bans Clothes

The Bluewater shopping centre in Kent has banned hoodies. In a bizarre mirror of the Gerry Ryan April fools hoax - when he broadcast an item about the Grafton street shop owners association insiting on a dress code for the street - the giant shopping centre in Kent UK
The fascists who runt he place claim they've had a rise of 22.6 per cent of people to the centre since they banned this particular type of sweatshirt. Although they do admit that the reason for the rise in attendance could be to do with the publicity they have received over the controversial clothing policy.
Supporting the move is none other than "Two Jags" John Prescott, who said "It is a uniform and it’s intimidating and I rather welcome what they have done at Bluewater". This from the New Labour minister who must have two fuel guzzling cars and thumps protesters on walkabouts.
That upholder of liberty, Tony Blair, has also supported the move and considered taking it further into public high streets.
Their reason for the ban is the lightweight theory that pulling up hoods on tops can prevent you from being captured by big brother on their copious amounts of CCTV cameras therefore aiding and abetting young criminals in nicking things.
The Financial Times reports today that "Youths in hooded tops or baseball caps have been blamed for everything from vaguely threatening behaviour to muggings and theft."
Those middle aged American tourists in their matching peak caps and tracksuits had better beware.
Shopping centres attract bored youths to browse and breed in the same way that watering holes in Africa attract wildebeest. Youths threaten older people because they challenge authority. Sometimes by simply being younger and having more energy.
Challenging authority - a mainstay of democracy - is becoming almost impossible with New Labours ASBO's and encouragement to big business to clamp down on certain subcultures that they deem undesirable.
What's next?
Making people of "suspect" religion wear a clear symbol of their faith on their arms?

Kylie Minogue and Breast Cancer

Very sorry to hear of the news that the 36 year old has been diagnosed with this rotten form of cancer. As Aine Lawlor pointed out this morning on Morning Ireland, Kylie has expressed her wish for children - chemotherapy can put paid to that chance.
What hasn't been mentioned here yet is the appauling lack of breast screening facilities in much of Ireland.
All women between the high risk ages of 50-64 should be screened. Currently this service doesn't exist for women in the South, West and parts of the East. The Irish Times also carries a story today about those who are over 64 and therefore not eligible.
My mother's agressive form of breast cancer was caught early in a routine screening in the south of England three years ago. She is alive and well today.
If she lived in the south of Ireland she would most likely have died from it.
When I passed Brown Thomas on Grafton street a week ago their main window display contained only plain models dressed in the breast cancer awareness t-shirt. Elle Macphearson was grinning all over the side of busses to advertise her appearance in the shop to promote the issue.
So what can the majority of at risk women in this country - who are perfectly aware - do about it? Little or nothing. That responsibility lies at the door of the government. I suggest they stop wasting money on cross border studies of the contents of people's fridges (here) and do something about saving thousands of people endless heartache and misery.

Howling Against the Wind

Due to THE BIG MOVE I've lapsed a little in my blogging duties. Ironic considering I have lost my voice
However it has been good for Stereotypical husband who has grown some biceps - bless.
It was the Karaoke that did it - my voice, not his biceps. Last Thursday belting out such classics as "Fame!" and "Summertime" in the style of Iron Maiden.
Needless to say I was the most enthusiastic, grabbing and hogging the mike while my colleagues melted back to the bar - one senior and respected co-worker confessing that if she had stayed down there one more minute she was likely to strangle someone - or something to that effect.
Unfortunately my penchant for kitsch overrode my lighter sensibilities and for a blissful moment there I was almost on Pop Idol/Stars in their Eyes.
Oh Dear.
Thanks to everyone who posted something on my last entry about women priests. I must add that if I ruled the world religion would be about the worship of women.
But then you can't really take anything I say seriously until I've stopped talking in squeaks and singing crap songs from the 1980's.

Women Priests: not a feminist issue any more

As Stereotypical Husband is fighting the good fight of the Allies over at his blog I will not trouble you further with my thoughts on Irish Neutrality during the war.
Instead.
A rather fantastic man named Jim Bruce from Shankill Dublin has written a letter to the Irish Times today (here if you have access to their subscriber service) about the role of women in the Catholic Church.
He points out that despite the church branding Mary Magdalen a prostitute up until 1969 when they recanted that tasty bit of gossip, there is clear evidence in the scriptures that she had a key role amongst the apostles and was the only one not to forsake Jesus when the others deserted him.
Women continue to struggle for recognition in the church in Ireland today. Back in 2001 the first international conference on the ordination of women was held in Dublin.
RTE, covering the event, ended their coverage thus:

"Women's Ordination Worldwide said that its original keynote speaker was a member of the World Council of Churches. She was forced to withdraw, they say, because of alleged pressure from the Vatican. One nun was allegedly threatened with dismissal from her order if she attended."

Whatever way you interpret the bible there is no question that Vatican II is a complete power cartel designed, held, and jealously guarded by men.
Soline Vatinel, a French woman who has lived most of her life in Ireland has campaigned for women's ordination in to the priesthood for many years. She is unusual in that she has not given up on her faith despite the refusal of her church to accept her for what she is - a priest in a woman’s body.

What's interesting is that people like our letter writer, Jim Bruce, who probably wouldn't be particularly exercised by feminist causes in the past, now sees it as tied in with an institution whose hierarchy is exclusive, out of touch and essentially not providing for the needs of their average punter. Which is why he suggests this website (although having had a look at it we are a little concerned as the author has an odd way of sounding like Tony Blair's Third Way speeches - only in this case its a fourth way)
Anyway.
Perhaps women's ordination isn't a feminist issue. If the RC Church continues it's stance on abortion, and it's theories of women's role primarily as a carer then ordinations of women may make as few strides for other women's rights as Maggie Thatcher becoming Britain’s first female Prime Minister.
Then again if women could put their life experience and views in to the running of a spiritual organisation perhaps that organisation may understand and cater better for the spirit of all women.
It isn't a feminist issue any more: it's a followers issue. Refusing the ordination of women has entered mainstream thinking as unreasonable. It is only at this point that what was once seen as radical thinking is now accepted by most as common sense. Common sense is a much more powerful persuader.

British Elections Meet South Park

While channel hopping last night in a vague attempt to land on some interesting election coverage I stopped on the Paramount Comedy Channel. An episode of South Park just seemed so much more appealing and in touch than Adam Bolton trying to keep his somnambulant head off the blipping flashing graphic that is the Sky News desk.
As it turns out they were having a particularly apt night with an episode about Stans big voting choice for school mascot between a giant douche and a turd sandwich and his subesquent banishment from the town for refusing to vote on either.
Apologies to those of a weaker disposition but when the British electorate were last night faced with a choice between a lying toad and a smarmy healthcare-cutting Tory (now resigned) many must have felt a tug of sympathy for poor Stan.
Ignoring my delicate disposition and reminding myself that the great Ancient Greek comic Aristophanes was a big fan of the vulgar joke I gathered my wits and fell about laughing.
Not only did this brilliant episode appear on the perfect night (although purposefully designed to represent the American voting dilemma could it be a total coincidence that it appeared on UK TV on British election night?).Not only did it cover a subtle issue of political homogeny that we are beginning to encounter all over the Western world (although less so in NI) but it also featured a Llama, Puff Daddy (singing a delightful song called Vote or Die the lyrics of which are in the quotes section here) and a stunningly amusing depiction of the way PETA people live and think.
Complete genius.

The Rose of Tralee: an Abomination

Hello Everyone,
From your copious comments I can tell I’m really hitting the mark with this blog that i occasionally write in. Please feel free to add criticisms as well as your usual praise...or anything at all.
I've noticed from stuff that I have done that we are all a little obsessed with ourselves out here in blogosphere. Surely writers and media types aren't really that narcissistic and self obsessed.
Anyway back to me.
The office patter took on more dramatic tones today when we started to discuss the pros and cons of the Rose of Tralee. The discussion, involving five women, ranged from defence of the competition (more for the good name of the realm of Kerry I think) - to utter horror at the Lovely Girls compeition. I was in the latter half.
It's not the parading of young women around a stage for the sake of it, it isn't the fact that they have to be virgins; it's not even the idea that fundamentally the most important thing for a young woman is to be friendly and sweet and never say bollocks. The thing that caw-stickingly, tooth grindingly pisses me off is that people refuse to admit it's a beauty pageant!!!!!!
Even if it is more about the girls being "beautiful on the inside" how much does that suck? Since when has a Rose of Tralee ever gone on to become a life saving surgeon or a politician?
It's patronising, embarrassing and shoddy. Irish women are the most firebrand, independent and no-bullshit women in the world. Unlike English women they don't even chat to each other and share make-up with strangers in the ladies. So why aren't they fixing the organisers with their best freeze-the-balls-off-a-snowman-at-20-paces stare and closing down this ridiculous charade?
Someone should do a Jarvis Cocker from Pulp when he ran up on stage during Micheal Jacksons song on the Brits and waggled his bum at the camera. Or even a streaker. A wonderful word that Microsoft spell check doesn’t recognise. All the more reason to do it I say..